I hadn't posted since early in the new year. The months since then were too horrible to recount in a detailed narrative.
The best parts were seeing my daughter and granddaughter, and holing up with some very dear friends that are more family than not. I, also, found that I had meaning to people who I valued in my life, but honestly didn't think they thought of me all that much. I was wrong. They saved my ass and I am grateful for the loving support that was so freely given.
The worst of these last few months was having my heart so thoroughly broken that the thought of picking up the pieces seems an impossible task and will leave me with scars that will itch when it rains.
I am in the middle of the process of wanting to heal on some days and wanting to chuck it all on others, because there is no use, and it's too hard. You know, reasons. Mostly, pain.
However, I am finding that I am slowly shifting from endless, dark, desolate misery and hopelessness to endless, dark, desolate misery and hopelessness...with a flashlight. It's a good start. I've, also, written a short story of the nature of the universe and, therefore, God, and a poem that reflects where I am emotionally at this point. I will create a new page in my blog just for short stories that I do not intend to publish and some of my better poetry. I've got a bunch of really old stuff, but little of it bears display. It was written many years ago as part of a process. I think it's more therapy than anything.
So...Shifting Gears. I haven't moved an inch on it except that I have given my proof reader a down payment. Hey, well, that is something. And, honestly it's all but done. Tightening a few places up here and there, and paring some structure down. It will get there. Thank you for your patience.
