My life has changed radically over the last year. I was alone and convinced that it would be that way. Even though I had spent years and years and, well, more than a decade delving into the deepest, darkest, most frightening pieces of my soul.
I still felt that I would be forever walking the path of my life with friends, dear, wonderful friends that are closer to me than family-type friends, but no romance, no sex. And, that was okay. So, I funneled my sexual and romantic energies into writing about that which I would never have. Many stories have their starts and a few are close to completion, but one is done, published and I am terribly proud of it.
But, I digress.
Love, romance and sex has returned to my life and I feel lost. I thought I had a good handle on who I was, and now? I just don't know. Old demons, long thought vanquished, have reared their ugly heads. Old, forgotten wounds have reopened, and I feel, or felt paralyzed.
So, with the years of self discovery behind me I am now facing the discovery of self in front of me.
It's never done. It's never over. I am, in this moment, the best 'me' I can be, but not the 'me' I will be tomorrow. And, since I want to have romantic and loving relationships with others, I need to break out the old tools, discover some new ones and find the part of me that knows I am as strong within a romantic relationship as I was without one.
So, here's to the journey! Because, it never ends and it only gets better.
Hey...I blog, therefore I am.
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